A route out of lockdown

According to today's paper, our Prime Minister is working hard to create a road-map out of lockdown.

 

In order to save Mr Johnson (no relation) a lot of hard work, the Johnson (me) Road-map Corporation has done the hard graft for him:

The new normal: How your favourite restaurant is going to look

According to a diagram in the Daily Mail, 21 June 2020, this is how your local restaurant is going to look:

Not sure I'm keen on sitting back to back with my wife at adjacent tables instead of just sitting side by side, but look on the bright side.

Firstly it will be a lot harder for your partner to say to you, ‘That looks nice,’ and expect you to give her the tastiest bit that you were quite looking forward to eating.

Secondly it might just bring back that marvellous forgotten invention, the kissing seat:

This allows you to sit side by side while facing in opposite directions and eating from different tables while still being a couple of feet apart. Not that anyone in their right mind would take their wife, girlfriend, boyfriend etc. to a restaurant for a romantic candle-lit dinner and then sit two feet apart, but at least you wouldn't be sitting back to back.